I know I haven't been updating my blog for a long, long time but, its clearly not my fault. I'm a busy woman. Can't help it...So much for advising Shena to update her blog...ha! so ironic.
Basically, i have started working as a full fledged nurse...working in the ward that i did my internship in...Plastic Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgery/Eye. Sophisticated? Totally. Well, it isn't that bad coz i did my internship in that ward so, i'm not that disorientated. Lil blur but, manageable. There's still lot more things to learn though. Going for my venepuncture and cannulation course tmr. Apparently, its gonna be interesting and fun. I hope it is.
I discovered something about myself lately. Actually, I was fraught with this uncertainty about myself for quite some time and it was vagueness and fear, that the truth might hurt stopped me from pursuing this matter. I was confused and afraid that the suspicion i had about myself would turn out to be true after all. But just recently, i realised i can't and don't want to live a fabricated life. So, I have learnt to accept the truth about myself and honestly speaking, i'm not embarrassed about it at all. In fact, i'm happy that my mind is crystal clear now. Whoohoo! I do know that there are alot of people out there who are judgemental and prejudicial but, i don't fucking care. Hmph!...Ofcourse, disclosure is out of the question for the moment. I need time...sudden realisations about yourself could take some time to sink in. So far, the people whom i'm really close to and whom are really important to me have been non-judgemental and understanding. Thanks a million man...you have no idea how much it means to me.
Posted by Devi at, 9:11 PM.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Ok I'm freaking out. The situation of the Swine Flu outbreak seems to be getting worse. Its currently at yellow alert now. We have been having alot of briefings with the Nursing Director to prepare ourselves for a swine flu outbreak in Singapore. Freaky shit man. Initially, I thought Singapore was overreacting to the situation but then again, I don't blame MOH. There's already 14 suspected cases here and after the SARS outbreak, I think we learnt a lesson. Apparently, this swine flu is worse than SARS...crap. This is really a bad time to start work. All of us had to wear N95 masks to protect ourselves coz there was a suspected case in SGH. All the staff at SGH started freaking out and everyone was frantically trying to get hold of a mask. We had to wear the bloody mask during our whole shift. It was so bloody uncomfortable! I felt so breathless. I really hope the situation stays at yellow alert. If the situation worsens, not only do we have to wear masks, we have to wear googles and gowns...so troublesome. I really hope the situation is kept under control and doesn't become a global pandemic coz then, my ward would be temporarily converted into a isolation ward. So that means, I have to nurse patients infected with swine flu. I'm really too young to die. Well, I think a swine flu outbreak in S'pore is imminent.
Posted by Devi at, 9:31 PM.
Its been more than a week since I started work. So far, so good. We are having our orientation now. The lectures are so god damn boring. We are so bored to hell that we turn to cheap thrill to entertain ourselves. The only thing that makes the whole orientation thingy so interesting and fun is teasing Soowen. Shena and I just randomly annoy Soowen and tease her whenever we feel like it. We have officially altered Soowen's name to Quek Cibai. Cool eh? Suits her well. Don't you think? We childishly wrote letters in super fucked up and bad tamil to her, and relinquished her to decipher the meaning of the letter all by herself. The cibai had to seek Shamun's help after much confusion and frustration. When Shamun translated it to english, we realised that our tamil sucks big time. Oh well, as long she gets the message. Besides teasing the cibai, we enjoyed teasing the sisters and the assistant directors of nursing...they are totally lame.
Our ward allocation was out today. I'm posted to ward 63P...The ward I went to for my internship. Feels good to go back to my ward coz atleast I have worked there before for 3mths so, I'm quite familiar with the ward layout and ward routines...kinda alleviates my fear and nervousness a little. I'm really grateful for the fact that for once, HR management has decided not to make my life miserable...I mean they are always sucha pain in the ass but, its just this time, they happen to be in a very merry mood. So, the HR staff decided to be nice...they are like poor, sad and derformed pustules.
The cibai and candy are in the same ward as me. This is creepy. I'm gonna have to bear with the cibai's physical abuse for another 3 yrs! May God have mercy on me.
Posted by Devi at, 9:41 PM.
I have one day left before I start work and I have mixed feelings about it. Oh well...atleast I won't be bored to hell, staying at home with a lunatic mother and a fucked up father. Collected my name tag yesterday...I got so pissed when I saw my full name on the badge. I didn't at all, wanted my father's name to be on the badge. L.Durga Devi would have been fine...this is what I wanted. But apparently, the HR staff were too ignorant to comprehend our individual preferences regarding the way we wanted our names to turn out on the badge. Morons. Argh! I can't stand to see my dad's name on my badge and to make matters worse, I have to bear it on my chest. Fuck it. I was very pissed about it but, I kept it to myself. I didn't make a big hooohaaa about it coz I was with my friends. Obviously, nobody would understand the hatred I have for my father. We had lunch at Carl's Jr after the whole absurdly redundant meeting with the HR staff. The chilli beef cheese fries was really good. Heaven. We would have stayed longer but, we were all too tired and sleepy. Weird. Soo and Candy left to go and meet their friends. Soo probably had to go for some volleyball competition which she obviously lost. Ahem. Let's just hope she doesn't read my blog and slaughter me on Monday.I have this very weird random feeling for the past 2 wks. I find men highy irritating these days. I'm just so sick and tired of men. Men don't appeal much to me anymore. I have this feeling that men are very superficial, judgemental,cocky and insensitive beings. Ok chill out motherfuckers...neither am I saying that all men are like that and these are actual facts about men nor am I starting an Anti-men campaign. I'm just expressing my feelings. You may think that I'm being prejudicial here but, I'm not...and you might think I'm gay. Frankly speaking, I'm not gay but, ten years down the road, if this weird random feeling about men still lingers around me and if I still have not met my prince charming, I might consider becoming gay or I'll just adopt a kid and live my life without any regrets or worries. Anyway, I came across this super hilarious joke about men...ladies, pls read it and laugh your asses off at the authenticity of the joke.A little girl walks into her parents’ bathroom and notices for the first time her father’s nakedness.Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn’t have. She asks, "What are those round things hanging there, daddy?"Proudly, he replies, "Those, sweetheart, are the God’s Apples of Life. Without them we wouldn’t be here."Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said. To which her mommy asks, "Did he say anything about the dead branch they’re hanging from??"P.S. I think gay men are far more better people than straight men. What do you think? Its like some bloody brainstorming question.
Posted by Devi at, 10:31 PM.
I went to Little India with my mum today...I made it quite clear to my mum that I totally hate going there. Undoubtedly the grimmest part of going to Little India is the fact that I see my people everywhere...everywhere I turn, I see them! Oh my fucking god! I know I'm absolutely mean, I'm against my own people for god's sake. Before we left, I had that somber expression to my face. My mum wanted to cheer me up so, she agreed to buy me a wallet...the bloody woman was trying to bribe me. It was a good bribe though...she bought me this really nice Elle purse from Wallet Shop. Quite costly...she said it was a gift from her, to me, for putting up with all her crap the past 3mths...you know doing all the housework and enduring her verbal backlash, annoyingly weird mood swings and mental torments...yea I know, she's the biggest grouch you can ever come across. Atleast, Mrs Grouch rewarded me well.
After the whole bribery thingy, we took a cab to Little India. My mum bought some stuff...don't know what the hell she bought, not interested in knowing either. I bought myself a Lakme black eyeliner...super smooth and effective...and its cheap! Its so much more worth it than those branded eyeliners that usually cost over 20 bucks.
While my mum took her own sweet time shopping, I waited like an asswipe and got stuck in the crowd...some bloody indian woman elbowed me in the face. I don't know whats her problem you know...biatch. I was so pissed, my mum got worried and offered to buy me a drink to cool down. Whatever la. Thank god we took a cab home. Very exhausting to shop at Little India...
Met Shena at Tampines MRT station after ditching my mum at home. We checked out the new mall, Tampines One. What kinda name is that? Tampines One sounds so plain and dull. Oh well, atleast they have great shops like Dorothy Perkins and Topshop there. Whoohoo! and they have Baker's Inn!!! Ahhhh...I love living in Tampines.
I sprained my right ankle real bad...everytime I walk, I feel a sharp pain surging through my right foot. I really hope I don't have a metatarsal stress fracture or 'hairline fracture' as they would say. That's really the last thing I need right now. I know for sure that I fractured my middle toe on my right foot coz when I ran into my dining table like 6months ago (don't ask how that happened...very embarrassing), I heard a loud crack, followed by a sharp, searing pain. My middle toe looked necrotic after that incident...it still does. To top that, I might have a stress fracture now...argh! I have mixed feelings about going for an x-ray...what if I really fractured my right foot? I have to go for an op and I will not be able to start work on the 20th. I think I'll just live with it. Anyway, enduring the pain my right foot is giving me is a hell lot more better than not going to work and staying at home with my mum. Gives me the creeps. After all I have been through, I think I can handle pain pretty well.
Posted by Devi at, 11:07 PM.
Today I woke up feeling totally crappy. Had this extremely painful feeling over my upper abdominal region. It was like this constant sharp pain and i felt nauseous at the same time. I felt so shitty and sick that i couldn't even walk properly...my face was pale, looked like i was gonna collapse any moment. God i freaked out! I had half the mind to go to the hospital coz the pain was unbearable and i felt so fucking weak! I never once cried when i was ill but, this was the 1st time that i actually cried like a pussy...so embarrassing. I kept vomiting till there was nothing left to vomit...all that came out was my gastric juice.My dear goof ball accompanied me to the clinic. He was afraid that i might faint on my way there or something. Didn't know my bro was so thoughtful and caring...i mean i knew he was a goof ball. That's a very obvious trait of him that any third person would notice. Went to the clinic and it was crowded...I could have just fainted there. Waited nearly an hour for my turn. The doctor said it could possibly be food poisoning...I ate Long John Silver's cheese fries yesterday...I'm not gonna eat it ever again...Although, its so cheesy and delicious and mouth-watering and heavenly. Crap! I have to stick to KFC's cheese fries from now onwards. Hopefully its not as fucked up as LJS's cheese fries.So, the doctor gave me an injection, IM maxolon. When he administered the injection, it was so painful...weird rite? Usually injections doesn't hurt much for me. This one was really painful, i could even feel the medication being administered into my deltoid muscle...Oh well, atleast it stopped the nauseous feeling. I still feel like crap now...feel abit weak and still experiencing slight pain over my upper abdominal region. Hope i feel better tomorrow.I felt so pissed and hurt today. My dad saw me leaving the house to go to the clinic. He asked me where i was going and i told him i'm not feeling well so, i'm going to see a doctor. Any nice, caring and loving father would ask what happened? are you feeling ok? you need me to accompany you to the clinic? Guess what my father said? He said, "please bring back the receipt coz i can claim 80% of the medical fees from my company insurance." Can you believe it? He didn't even bother to ask what's wrong with me and all that mattered to him was the money...and you wondered why i HATE my father.Hey i watched the movie Knowing last night at Century Sq. The movie was awesome! Really, really good man. Its a Science Fiction movie. Freakin cool. Good stuff. You guys should go and watch it.
Posted by Devi at, 9:34 PM.
Many things happened during the past few days. I'll talk about it later...Lets talk about what happened today. Shena persuaded me to accompany her to go and collect her uniform and since I was so fucking bored staying at home, I tagged along. We met Soowen and as usual she kept whacking me for no apparent reason...Oh c'mon! its Soowen. What do you expect. Merciless whacks and punches come along with her friendship and you don't have a choice of refusing that 'brilliant' offer...just accept it and sooner or later, you'll find yourself in a cruel plight...like me. Don't you just feel sorry for me? Like I said, Soowen tagged along, whacked us a couple of times, had lunch with us and left abruptly for her volleyball competition which obviously, she wasn't gonna win...I mean the competition probably ended with every single player dead. You know what happens when you place a mass murdering psychopath with zero empathy in a war? There is no winner or loser. All dead except that psychopath. A catastrophe is all you get. Oh my god, I just made Soowen appear like a monster. I mean she is, just not literally. I'm sorry Soo! Please spare my soul! Please don't whack me!So after the psychopath left, Shena and I went shopping. Shena shopped and I just tagged along. I bought a really cool watch and a super cool game. Yay me! We travelled alot today. From Outram--->Vivo (had lunch and Shena bought playdough..yes, she enjoys playing and moulding playdough. I was even invited to join her and I accepted the invitation! We probably meet up sometime next week just to play with playdough. How fun can that be for a 20 year old? We are the coolest youngsters ever)--->Orchard(Shena bought her CK perfume)--->Lavender(Shena bought her Surfer's Paradise sandals)--->Simei(Sent my bro's hp for repair, deposited money into my account and slacked at Starbucks)--->Tampines (home sweet home!) Our day was very eventful right? We were completely exhausted...the weather was so warm!I went to Bedok Reservoir in the evening, to jog. Hey, healthy living man! Everytime I go there, I bump into atleast one suckeroony. Its just inevitable. We are surrounded by weirdos. I know I'm one too but, it just that I'm amazed to see someone even weirder than I am! Gosh it feels so good to know that I'm not the only weirdo in S'pore. Congrats Devi, congrats...You know why I like to go Bedok Reservoir? The obvious reason is to jog and keep myself healthy...whateva. But, its also a means of obtaining temporary freedom from my home which doesn't exactly feel like home to me..more like a boot camp. Another reason could also be that I personally like observing suckeroonies and laughing at them..I know I'm mean.At the start of my post I said many things happened during the past few days right? What i forgot to include is that this is gonna be a fucking long post! Out of the many things that happened, I'll just share one. This secondary school friend of mine just randomly sent me a msg online via messenger...Let me just tell you that I totally hate this bitch ok. I really, really never liked her at all ever since we left sec sch. Its not like I adored her before that. I kinda disliked her in sec sch and then, i hated her completely once we left sec sch. She's the type who forgets her old friends intentionally once she has new friends...and this shit goes on and on. She's someone you wouldn't wanna trust coz you just have this gut feeling that she's not sincere at all. Not one bit. Plus, she is so fucking fake and over dramatic, it drives me crazy. She didn't contact me after we left sch. She didn't bother to keep in touch with me till like 2 years later, she suddenly popped out of nowhere and requested to meet up. WTF? seriously? and that's only because her close buddy in poly left so, she was lonely and she thought it would be nice to have her old friends back...for the moment. She actually thought I would buy that crap. Oh please, I wasn't born yesterday you know. So, few days back she approached me online and started bombarding me with questions. Asking me why is she being neglected and what has she done to deserve this. I wish I could say Go Fuck Yourself...but, I didn't. She said she wanted me to be frank. There's one thing you guys might not know about me...When you ask me to be frank, I'll be so fucking frank, you would probably wish you hadn't ask me anything. So, I was extremely frank with her and I told her off completely. I guess she got extremely offended. Who cares? She started saying emo stuff like how she still loves me and how she still cherishes our friendship. For a moment I thought she was gay. Creepy shit! She was so over dramatic, using cliche friendship quotes that she probably found online...copy and paste I guess. Damn loser! I started laughing. So retarded. She went on rambling about how she cried so much after our friendship drifted apart...how she felt tears running down her cheeks as she shared her feelings with me. OMG uber gay! Creepy fucktard! Crazy overdramatic bitch! The whole crying thing was so damn fake! She was trying to gain my sympathy and friendship by spilling crocodile tears and saying uberly gay things. I still love you? Fuck that! I really feel like she's not being sincere and she's so fake...extremely fake. After 3.5 years later, she finally decided to talk things out with me? But, before that, she couldn't care less. She asked me if we could ever be close again and I told her straight in the face, NO. Oh I love being frank with morons. How I wish she read this.Here is some random stuff about me. I don't believe in expressing my care and concern for someone by just using words...doesn't help much you know. I'd rather express my care and concern for someone through my actions...like actually taking the effort to offer and provide them with my help and support...or indirectly telling them that I treasure their friendship alot by being there for them at all times, good or bad. I don't know, I feel like actions speak more than just the mere usage of words. Ok FYI, I'm not a freak. Its just something random that I felt like sharing. Hmph!
Posted by Devi at, 11:14 PM.
